Today was the day I introduced Mistress to my derriere. Please take a reverent moment to observe the pic immediately to your right, and imagine the result of an hour and a half of playing with various instruments of discipline (without the underwear). But before I recant my story for you, my dear readers, I will start with the emotional buildup of the previous 12 hours in order for you to take a leap of faith and put yourself in my underwear.
Of course, the build up had been much longer than 12 hours. I think the whole process from start to finish was about 4 weeks from my initial email to Mistress, until I bent over and assumed the position, with my derriere poised to meet her strokes…
During the past week, I had been feeling incredibly horny! I could noticeably feel my sexual tension building. I had no idea of what to expect, other than I was going to be spanked, smacked, strapped, caned and generally walloped. I did not know if I would feel excited, sad, horny, hurt or numb. But the idea that I would feel something, made the build up to my first BD/SM experience rather exhilarating to say the least.
I did the usual things to alleviate my sexual urges – sex, masturbation and I also googled appropriate porn to match my naughty thoughts (wicked grin). I enjoyed explosive orgasm’s, one after the other. I hadn’t experienced such intense sexual energy for a very long time. I can only put it down to my willingness to experiment with my sexuality, to resuscitate her back to life. I recommend to those of you wondering what it would be like, to take a leap of faith and trust a professional Dominatrix to show you something safe and different.
Funnily enough, I did not experience any fear or trepidation. I presumed this would be a normal expectation, but nothing happened. No nervous tension, no butterflies, no anxiety – except insomnia the evening prior. I stayed up the entire night! I just could not sleep. I put this down to the fact that I had no idea what to expect, therefore I could not make any experiential references, therefore I was restlessly ignorant! However, now that I am enlightened, I remain positively invigorated. Let me explain.
I arrived at 12.30pm on the dot. I made an effort to put my hair up in a high ponytail. I wore high fish net stockings up to my midriff. Black bra. A skirt. No knickers. Italian boots and a singlet top. I’m a real Westie Chic – complete with tattoo’s and piercings, preparing for an Eastern education. I have light makeup on I consider appropriate for our meeting. I have two bags of clothing with props I am unsure about changing into, so I pretty much cover all the bases by including lingerie, stilleto’s, a pvc dress, and a classic leather studded teddy.
We meet, except this time she greets me at the top of her driveway as I am walking with my head down, and I am somewhat startled by her presence here. Again, we greet and I make my way into her ‘dungeon’. I notice, on the bed, an array of implements which I presume, are for me. I make myself a coffee and plonk my bags down, muttering that I didn’t really know what to bring. I sit in a comfortable chair while Mistress enquires about what we might do today.
I get changed into a short black dress, fishnets and stilletto‘s. Mistress and I then enact a couple of typical client based role-play’s. She pretends to be the client, while I practice strutting my stuff. I am inappropriately giggling all the while! Something I know I will never do with a paying client, unless it is specifically requested. I do not advocate under any circumstances assuming that humiliation is standard for every client. It is far from this. People and their fantasies and role-plays are as varied as the individual imagination. One size does not fit all.
After a short while, Mistress notices that I am preoccupied with the array of instruments on the bed and she suggests we begin. I am well aware that I was wanting to experiment with these intriguing things right from the start but I was happy to go with the flow, knowing that all good things come to those who wait. I change and place myself on all fours on the corner of her bed. I am surrounded by mirror’s. This is not the time to notice I have a big butt! Mistress comments on how beautiful my bottom is compared to her usual fare.
She begins gently. She spanks me with an open hand. I am immediately reassured that she is not going to beat me to a pulp as some would imagine. Her objective is to build trust and I am already head-over-heels in trust with Mistress. Then she moves on and I experience a light tap of this and a harder twack of that, as she initiates my behind with a full variety of sensations. I am unperturbed. I am giggling most of the time and fully engaged with her. I can see that she is enjoying herself too.
“its not often I get to see a beautiful full bottom. Bottom men would love yours!”
After a while, the tools of the trade increased in intensity. Each had a song unto itself. That’s my best description. Each implement had a sting or thud or slap that left an individual or collective mark. My bottom was becoming quite warm, just prior to catching on fire! But it is strangely tolerable. It is not what you virginal observers would think. Far from it in fact. I am aware that she is only going light to moderate strength but I can definitely see what all the fuss is about. This is so not what you have all been imagining.
Next we have a break, for photographs. After all, my sessions are being funded and I feel it is only appropriate I demonstrate my progress as it develops. A few pics of my bottom in all her pink glory, are taken and sent. Before we move on to the bondage equipment! Woop woop! I am cuffed in exactly the same way as before except I am wearing my underwear. I am blindfolded and I allow myself to continue to dialogue with Mistress as she suspends my body. I am relaxed. I trust Mistress. I can’t explain it but I do.
She talks to me about what some clients may want. Different textures of gloves and fabrics that are moved over my body. They feel different and sensual. I am touched on my inner thighs, the top of my mons and my breasts but not intrusively. The whole idea is to build trust and confidence in my Mistress that she is not going to harm me more than I can handle. Her motto is Safe, Sane and Consensual. She places electrodes on my body and begins a gentle electrical impulse. This is not a painful process but becomes intense as she turns up the volume, so to speak.
Somewhere in between, she continues to cane my bum and it is not as I anticipated. She gave me 6 of the best! I don’t know whether or not I am abnormal or deranged, but the whole process did not harm me in any way. I exclaimed to Mistress that I had become incredibly wet. There is a subtle difference between sexual reaction and arousal. Although there was no sexual response, it was very evident that I was aroused. Just the proximity of the strokes would have contributed to my increased moisture of their own accord.
At one point, Mistress intimates that she would provided me with sexual hand relief, as is sometimes the norm, however since her experience had not included many (if any) women, she is not sure if she knows how this would eventuate (with me in mind). I tell her quite clearly that I would have no problem in the same situation, since my bisexuality has very distinct advantages, but I do not acknowledge or accept her invitation and intuitively this is sorted without stating the obvious. A very skilled Mistress indeed!
So, I survived! I have entered into the dungeon of forbidden horrors and come out unscathed. You lot don’t know a damn thing about BD/SM! I am not deranged. I am not insane. I am not fucked up. I am not a sexual deviant. I am intelligent, smart, attractive, happy, curious, courageous and did I mention intelligent? I have allowed myself a respectful experience with a respectful and nurturing Mistress who cares. If I choose to pursue this path as a career or otherwise, I want to care about the people who trust me with their deepest, darkest desires.
I am looking forward to my next encounter with Mistress. I do not know in what format the next meeting will be. We have talked about me observing her as she works her Mistress magic with her clients. I feel I need to see how it all works in person in order to learn how to manage my feminine power and control. It is very different to role-play a situation without anything to base it on. I am hoping I will get the chance to observe and perhaps administer under supervision, if all goes well.
Until next time, I hope I have enlightened you, piqued your interest and debunked any false negative stereotypes of BD/SM or Dominatrices. They are not all leather-clad, vixen bitches who will beat the crap out of you while you are tied up and can’t move! Although these Amazon’s are more than happy to deal to this if this is your fantasy, Dominatrices are also other things for many different types of need. Keep an open mind and don’t judge lest you be judged inaccurately yourself.
Happy bondage! I will deal with the rest of you later… Jx
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