Well…if this picture doesn’t say it all!  I can tell you that after the first 50 pages, I was 50 Shades of Wet!  I can’t remember the last time I read an erotic piece of literature and let it carry me away within its seductive pages.  Was it Henry Miller and Anais Nin?  If this is the new face of ‘mummy porn’, I’m all in.

Funnily enough, I found myself comparing Christian Grey with today’s real life debonair billionaire Sir Donald Trump.  A much older version of course, but never-the-less I had to chuckle at the behavioural similarities and the demeanor of his minions on the hit TV show The Apprentice.  What is interesting is his daughter Ivanka Trump’s ‘Mistress-like’ qualities also evident on the programme, which begs the question…do some things run in the family?

I digress, however the story line of 50 Shades of Grey is made up of the usual stuff.  A virgin, a villain (we all cum to love), and a conquest not dissimilar to the fairy-tale depicting the forbidden desires between Beauty and the Beast.  My… how far we have come from the 17th century libertine writings of an insane deranged madman by the name of Marquis de Sade!  The word sado and sadism were taken directly from Marquis de Sade’s name.  The wonderful world of BD/SM has been around for centuries, however there appears to be a new resurgence of popular BD/SM culture.  Rihanna first re-ignited the flame in her hit song aptly titled S&M in 2010.

Reading through the pages of this deliciously sexy book, I am immediately transported out of my comparatively ordinary world into the juicy, deviant fantastical world of S&M.  I am completely undone by the seduction of Christian Grey and the relative unfettered sexual desires of Anastasia Steele.  I was once a virgin.  LOL, however my story and no doubt countless others, pales by comparison.  50 Shades of Grey takes me to a place where my optimist likes to think I could still be swept off my feet by a sexy rich, kinky billionaire one day and taken to new sexual heights of deviant pleasure, all in the lap of luxury.  Pick me!  Pick me!

I am completely smitten with the idea of Christian Grey – Sir Christian Grey.  But that is all it is.  An idea.  A novel.  The real world of BD/SM is as removed from Christian Grey as my perverted Prince Charming is sweeping me off my feet.  The eternal optimist in me submits to the relentless pessimist.  I wonder how many women would now be prepared to let them selves be tied up, spanked or much worse in the hopes of achieving some previous sense of unobtainable ecstasy, at the hands of rank amateurs?  The mind boggles.  My warning lights are flashing and the hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end.

Don’t do it!  Don’t go there on a whim and a prayer is my advice.  Always ere on the side of caution when offering up your body, mind and spirit to anyone.  More often than not the fantasy is never the reality.  Lets face it, if it was this good, we would all be doing it.  There is a reason the world of BD/SM is cloaked in mystery and danger.  There are too many rednecks who masquerade as Dominants (Mistresses and Master’s) who do little more than abuse, and in rare cases cause death.  Remember, just because you may consent to being tied, bound and beaten, if death occurs, the perpetrator will still be charged with your murder.  A sobering thought.

My advice to you, if you are feeling your loins tingling and muscles clenching in that most wanton way, then you take the time out to research and make contact with a professional Dominatrix or Master and have a deep discussion about what it is you are hoping to feel or achieve from your roleplay.  If you have a specific one in mind, like Anastasia’s wet dream involving a brown leather riding crop described in chapter 14, then allow this to be your guide.

At the end of the day, I have lost count of the number of clit-wrenching, muscle spasming self-imposed orgasms I have had at the expense of Christian Grey.  I am very much looking forward to the next installment of the Trilogy, 50 Shades Darker.  For your own sake, go out and buy the books and put yourself out of your misery! If you take the time to find out what all the fuss is about, you will at the very least be educating yourself on some of the more refined details of  BD/SM.  You may even find that you have a new desire to explore your sexuality with a professional.  Either way, you won’t know until you try.  How perverted is your imagination… Jx

By Jodine
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